You don’t want to confuse the two.’ ‘Don’t tell me what I feel!’ She was rising up on her elbow with an indignant look. ‘OK … OK … but … you have to admit … you are making a big leap in a very short time.’ I said it in what I hoped was a conciliatory tone. She looked at me sternly, then a small smile crept onto her lips. ‘The whole idea scares you, doesn’t it?’ ‘A bit. What makes you think that you might be in love?’ ‘I don’t know if I am or not. I’ve got this funny feeling about you and me. I can’t explain it. I’ve been wandering around in my short life without any real sense of direction. I went to school and then to college and then I got this job and then … and then … I met you. Nothing really mattered … until now.’ She had a strange look, almost surprised, or perhaps confused. This wasn’t the frivolous topic I thought it was. She really was wondering what was happening to her. ‘Talk to me, Vannie. Tell me about yourself. Tell me about growing up in Naples.’ ‘I didn’t grow up in. I offered him tea and we talked about the old days. He was married with three kids. He had married an Italian girl. The topic turned to me. At some point I broke down and told him about Vishals inability to impregnate me and the stress it was causing. His hand reached up to caress my cheek. Tears slipped down my cheek, and I turned back to glare through the window. I turned back to Ajith. To my utter surprise, an unbelievable thought entered my desperate mind. I instantly saw in him the father Vishal could never be, and it struck me to the core. Ajith seemed to read my mind. "You're angry, and rightfully so," he murmured low, his eyes penetrating into mine. I nodded, feeling desire building in me so quickly it scared me. "You need to feel a sweet baby filling your belly... But you need something else too, don't you?" I swallowed hard, wrestling with my desire, hormones raging. But again I nodded, and his hand reached up to caress my cheek, sliding up into my hair and gripping it.
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